Parks’s Pulse – On goats, squirts, and arms

Orlando Guardian's fans show up! The Seattle Sea Dragons against the Orlando Guardians at Camping World Stadium on March 25th, 2023 in Orlando, FL. (© Matt Pendelton/XFL)
Orlando Guardian’s fans show up! The Seattle Sea Dragons against the Orlando Guardians at Camping World Stadium on March 25th, 2023 in Orlando, FL. (© Matt Pendelton/XFL)

Ranking the games

  1. Sea Dragons 26, Guardians 19: That’s right, the winless Guardians nab the top spot for the second week in a row. It was another close-but-no-cigar game for them with a late fumble adding to the drama.
  2. Defenders 37, Roughnecks 26: Houston’s emotional implosion on defense prevented this from finishing first. DC just doesn’t get rattled.
  3. Battlehawks 26, Vipers 9: While the game was never as close as San Antonio vs. Arlington (and with much less at stake), it was much more well-played, especially by St. Louis.
  4. Brahmas 15, Renegades 9: San Antonio looked like an offense starting their third-string QB and playing another with one day of practice. What’s Arlington’s excuse?

From hero to goat

At several points on Saturday afternoon, Orlando RB Devin Darrington looked like the back that was presumptively the week one starter before an injury put him on the shelf for the start of the season. He has slowly worked his way back since being activated off IR earlier this month, and this week appeared to be his coming-out party. He scored two rushing touchdowns, one from 43 yards out, putting the Guardians on his back and seemingly dragging them toward their first win. Alas, fate giveth and fate taketh away. With Orlando staring at a seven-point deficit with 1:40 to go and the ball on their own 27 yard-line, Darrington took a pass from Quentin Dormady, scampered for a first down, but then fumbled at the 40. Seattle recovered, and that was pretty much the end of Orlando’s threat. Darrington is still a more dynamic back than Jah-Maine Martin, who outcarried Darrington 10-7 on Saturday, so despite the fumble, he should get more playing time moving forward.

All-Access Moment of the Week, Part One

Emotions were running hot for both Arlington and San Antonio in their important XFL South matchup on Sunday. With Arlington down by a touchdown late in the 4th quarter, the Renegades broke into Brahmas territory on a 12-yard Leddie Brown run. Then, center Brian Folkerts was flagged for a personal foul, a 15-yard penalty, after the play. The drive ended with an interception and one kneel-down later, San Antonio found themselves just one game behind Arlington in the standings. All of this came after Arlington Head Coach Bob Stoops approached Folkerts and others on the sideline, saying “All of you just cool down. Don’t go getting a 15-yarder and screwing us.” That soundbite was captured on delay and shown following the Folkerts penalty. It likely made the transgression even more grating to Renegades fans watching at home.

Upset of the season? 

There haven’t been a ton of upsets this year; the line of demarcation between the haves and have-nots in the league is pretty clear. Yet, San Antonio’s win over Arlington on Sunday should qualify for a major upset given the injuries the Brahmas had to navigate just to put 11 men on the field on offense. There was third-string QB Jawon Pass, in his first professional start, earning the victory. There was Kurt Benkert, with one day of practice, trying to keep drives alive. There was Malcolm Bunche, a 31-year old backup offensive lineman playing in his fourth pro football league, called upon to play when injuries hit mid-game. There was a defense, knowing they needed to be near-perfect to bail out the offense and keep their playoff hopes alive. All of that was accomplished. A win over the 1-5 Vipers this weekend, combined with a Renegades loss to the 4-2 Sea Dragons, puts the two teams into a tie for the final playoff spot in the South with three games remaining.

Best of the Best 

DC vs. Houston was a Monday night showdown that was supposed to determine the best team in the XFL; the announcers often made reference to the fact that the two best leagues in the team were facing off. In the end, one thing became clear: DC is the best, and it’s not really close. Houston went up 8-0 early on, but the Defenders didn’t flinch. Instead, they put up 26 unanswered points to crush Houston’s hopes and dreams. A few late rallies by the Roughnecks made the final score closer than game flow would indicate. If DC can continue the balance of a ball-control offense and a takeaway-minded defense, they just may run the table on their way to the XFL Championship.

He’s no squirt 

We may have seen a football first on Monday night: An unsportsmanlike conduct penalty was called on Houston CB Ajene Harris for squirting one of the officials with a water bottle. Harris was on the sidelines when he allegedly sprayed the line judge. Harris seemed to claim the ref pushed him as he was trying to sub out on the previous play as an open mic caught him giving his side of the story to a fellow player. Even referee Reggie Smith could barely hold back his laughter as he announced the penalty and the reason for it. This was part of Houston’s second half meltdown and one of 12 penalties on the night for the Roughnecks.

All-Access Moment of the Week, Part Two

Speaking of Smith, it’s not often we get to highlight referees in the All-Access section, but Smith earned it on this night. On a DC two-point conversion attempt, Smith found himself in the path of a blitzing Emmanuel Ellerbee and was accidentally knocked to the ground. “Darn it, my hat got dirty…fortunately I was able to roll…a lesser athlete wouldn’t have got hit.” Smith’s mic picked up his comments live, leading to hearty guffaws from the announcers. Credit Smith for playing off an embarrassing moment with humor (though the physical gaffe was never shown to the television audience).

Have arm, will travel

The last seven days have seen two significant quarterback trades take place as teams in the playoff race try to shore up weak spots at the most important position in the game. It began last week with Kurt Benkert, who did not report to the Houston team to which he was allocated in December, having a change of heart about participating in the XFL. He came out of his self-imposed exile to play for QB-starved San Antonio, who acquired him from Houston for LB Drew Lewis. Benkert didn’t have time to get up to speed for Sunday’s game and it showed as he was often not on the same page with his receivers. He finished 1-for-6 passing with an interception, yet he’s likely to start down the stretch for the injury-ravaged Brahmas.

Then on Monday, Arlington surprisingly released QB Kyle Sloter. Sloter had been splitting reps both in practice and games with Drew Plitt, who began the season as the starter. Plitt performed better than Sloter on Sunday but only by a slim margin. It seemed as if the two-headed monster would continue, until news of Sloter’s release. Given Sloter’s success in the USFL in 2022 relative to his play in the XFL in 2023, it wouldn’t be a surprise if Sloter re-joined a USFL team as their training camps have just begun.

In need of another QB, the Renegades negotiated a trade with the Vipers on Tuesday, sending reserve LB Ryan Mueller to Vegas in exchange for Luis Perez. Perez is coming off a two-interception game against St. Louis last Saturday and was relieved in favor of Brett Hundley. Once he has the offense down, Perez will likely take over in the event that Plitt falters; given how tenuous Arlington’s hold is on their playoff spot, Plitt may get a quick hook if the Renegades offense continues to sputter.